well, it happened again.  Different guy.  Different year.  New baby.  I just don't know how I feel right  now.   He held my arm and twisted it so hard and threatened to break it.  the physical pain is still there and I am very very angry.  Not sure how I keep getting involved with these guys but I do.  I do suffer from Post Partum depression, but I'm on medication.  I was pissed because he's always watching porn and he gets it all the time.  Like, does he have to watch porn to be thinking about those thoughts while we have sex?  I just hate myself.  But I love myself.  I know that it will happen again.  I know I will regret calling the cops.  I know it.